Surgery on the Horizon?

Thursday, I had an appointment to see Dr P. Mostly, I needed to change my pain medication, but I also wanted him to check out my ears and nose, since I feel like I have a sinus infection.

I've been on Vicodin off and on for ten years. Between the migraines and the pain my body gives me, it's what my first "grown-up" doctor felt would help me best at the time. Since then, whenever I've met a new doctor, they've simply restarted it. In recent years, I usually have had to go through a brief counseling session to try an prove I'm not a drug addict first, but since I am, in fact, not a drug addict, that's easy enough.

Recently (two months ago, I suppose it was), my insurance decided in all their wisdom that I simply don't need pain pills enough for them to pay for them any longer. After I calmed down, we went ahead and filled it out of our own pockets - $25 that we simply don't have once to twice a month. Thankfully, I had an appointment with Dr P within a few days of that. I explained to him what had happened, and he gave me a small list of medications that would give me similar, if not better pain relief and asked me to call the pharmacy to find out which would be least expensive.

I had to wait until my next appointment with him before we could officially make the switch, but as of Thursday, I'm on Ultram (or Tramadol, that's the generic) twice a day. For four dollars a month. Super sweet. It hasn't made a ton of difference yet, but I realized today, that I'm probably having withdrawal symptoms  from the Vicodin at the moment, so the achy muscles I have may be the biggest part of that.

Dr P had a medical student with him, a lady who's name will oddly enough also be Dr P when she graduates. She looked into my ears, and said they look fine, but that I have a lot of wax built up, like I didn't know that. She also said I have tiny ear canals, which I actually didn't know.

My Dr P came over to look into my nose, and when he was throwing the little disposable cone away, he asked "What's the story with you and allergies and sinus infections?" I replied, "Yes, I have all those things." LOL. Dr P has a fabulous sense of humor, thankfully.

I told him that a scratch test several years ago shows I'm allergic to pretty much everything that grows, plus swimmy fish (I can eat shellfish), and I get at least one major sinus infection a year. About ten years ago, the sinus infections and migraines got so bad that my doc at the time had a CAT scan done. They sent me to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist to have the scan explained to me. What he showed me was polyps on my right sinus. He told me that at the time, it could be treated with a nasal spray and if it started to effect my life, we could discuss surgery.

At this point, Dr P chuckled. He explained that now, the polyps have grown in both nostrils to the point that he's not sure how I continue breathing. He compared it to some cases of tonsillitis he's seen where the patient can hardly swallow, the tonsils are so big. He wants me to go ahead and do the sleep study as I am now, so we get an accurate record of what's going on, and so that we can prove to the insurance company that the surgery is medically necessary, if and when we decide to do it. It may help, but he said that people who have this surgery are the most miserable people on the face of the planet for about ten days, and according to my research, it's very likely that the polyps will grow back. We'll have to see how things go with the hearings and all.

The meeting with the lawyer is Tuesday. I'm so nervous. I'm afraid she's going to look at me, decide I'm just fat and lazy (like so many people assume) and kick me out of her office. One crisis at a time. I just have to get through the meeting at this point. One crisis at a time.

Pills, Pills, Pills

In an effort to get into the habit of updating more often, I decided this morning to participate in Project 365.. Basically, that means you take and post a picture every day. I've seen some people take the picture each day and post them in a cluster (at the end of the week or what have you), and I may do that during flair-ups and fogs. We'll see how it goes.

This is how every day starts; how every day ends. I'm actually two bottles short at the moment, they're next to the phone, having been called in for refills.

I should explain the markings, I suppose. Pill bottles all tend to look alike, so I needed some way to be able to find what I'm looking for right away. I've also had moments where I'm not able to get out of bed or I want a pill while in the tub or whatever, and this makes it easy to tell Shady what I need.

The markings are all nail polish. Colorful, permanent and won't rub off onto wet hands (Sharpie did!). Each bottle is marked with the first letter of the medication and each medication has it's own color; for example, the big blue "G" you see there is Gabapentin, while Vicodin has a purple "V" on top.

The secondary marking system tells me when each pill is taken. Morning pills are dotted with a blue-gray, night pills are gunmetal gray, pain pills bright red, etc.

Also in the basket are a cheat-sheet and instructions from Dr P.

Not shown, but that usually lives in the basket is my health notebook. I write down every pill I take, so that I can easily figure out when the next is due. Also, the absorption of one of my pills is slowed by things like Tums and Rolaids, so I try to wait a few hours before mixing the two, and the notebook makes this easier.

I also write down any questions I want to ask on my next Doctor's visit, and make notes while we talk to him.

And to completely change the subject, I chose the title for this entry based on Glee. I stopped watching it after thee or four episodes (too much angst, too much Lea Michelle), but I love a lot of the music and I love me some Darren Criss. When I woke up this morning, I had the Darren Criss/Glee version of the Destiny's Child song "Bills, Bills, Bills" in my head, and the correlation to my morning pills is what prompted me to start this whole thing, so you get a bonus prize:

The name's Migraine, Epic Migraine.

This stupid headache just won't go away. This is day three, and I have no idea how to fix it. More caffeine, no caffeine, sleep all day, stay up late, too many Vicodin, no pain killers at all, nothing's working.

Aside from that, things are progressing. Dr. P has essentially confirmed Fibromyalgia, which is a blessing. He prescribed Baclofen, a medication he has said is normally given to Multiple Sclerosis patients to control muscle spasms. I can't wait. It's a scary thing to get a sudden, unstoppable eye spasm while driving. I also get violent ones that make me kick my girlfriend in the middle of the night, or shriek out in pain in an otherwise quiet room.

I asked Dr. P about possibly getting an anti-depressant on board. Since I was once diagnosed as Bipolar (another doctor later said that was stupid, I couldn't possibly have Bipolar), he referred me to the clinic's psych doc, Dr. G. Dr. G is a lovely, friendly woman who just moved here from across the country. She feels that what I have is Bipolar type II. She prescribed Topamax, which is also said to help migraines. Again, I'm excited to try it. Dr. G also encouraged me to file for disability and see where that gets us now that we have a combination of diagnoses.

There's a ton more to talk about, I'm sure, but our monthly food money will be here at 8:00AM, and since it's currently 1:30AM, I need to at least attempt to lay down.

It's not unusual...

Not surprisingly, I'm in pain. Had a job interview this morning, and ran errands with my brother. I've had a migraine all afternoon - probably a mix of tension, allergies, stress and my sinuses. The regular pain meds haven't touched it.

Additionally, my joints have been much worse this last week or so, particularly my knees. Mama-san has Osteoarthritis, and says that the way they find it it via X-rays instead of by blood tests, so that's something I need to bring up with Doctor P when we see him again. I also want to ask him if he thinks water aerobics would be a good thing for me to do.

Right around the time of my last entry, I tripped over our exercise bike and pulled my hamstring again.Was down for a few days, and now my knees are stiff and swollen. I also bruised the nail bed of my pinky toe. Ugh.

Headache's too bad  to write. More later.

Standard Introductory Offer

Capricious [kuh-pree-shus] — adj

	characterized by or liable to sudden unpredictable changes in attitude or behavior; impulsive; fickle

In other words, my life. Mainly, my health. One day I'm fine, the next, I'm convinced there is no pain greater that doesn't end in a baby being born.

I've been trying to write this entry for days. I want to get all this out, but every time I sit down to write, something happens. My brain quits, or I get distracted, or the pain gets the best of me for the moment. It's storming here, and for some reason, hearing the wind make the killer rosebush scrape against the window made me want to get some of this down. 

How does one introduce oneself like this? 

(As a side note, I had to jump up in the middle of writing this to chase down our elderly cat, who had slunk off to spray in a corner. Every time I try to write, I swear.)

About 15 years ago, I fell (or was pushed, I don't have a clear memory) down a concrete flight of stairs. I landed on my hands and knees, with my right foot tangled in the handrail. My doctor's office refused to take X-rays or treat me in anyway once it became obvious that nothing was broken. 

Since then, my body has been deteriorating, more than I expect the average body would. X-rays were taken about five years later, but they only proved that nothing was ever broken. 

In November 2009, I was in a "car accident." It wasn't a wreck with another car, but it did involve my car. The van had broken down in the middle of a very busy road, and with the help of a passerby, I was trying to push it across another lane of traffic. I stepped into the car to apply the brakes, lost my balance and fell. It must be my instinct to fall onto my hands, and as I twisted, my right foot got caught in the pedal, the seat or the steering wheel. (I'm sensing a pattern here.) I heard a loud pop, and I seriously believed that I had broken my leg. Instead, I had pulled my hamstring. I couldn't sit on my butt for two days, and limped around on crutches for two weeks.

These last few months, the constant pain that I've always had has jacked up a level. It's also fairly easy for me to re-pull my bad hamstring, meaning I limp around for few days afterward.  

Aside from all this, I am drastically overweight and have a family history of Lupus, M.S., Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. So that I hurt is not really a surprise. My doctor has done blood tests to clear me for the M.S., the Lupus, the R.A. and anything else he can think of. There is no blood test (or even a conclusive diagnostic test) for Fibromyalgia, however. It's one of those things that can only be diagnosed by ruling out everything that it's not.

The combination of all of this has meant that I have a hard time working, which means I have a hard time paying for anything. No diagnosis means that employers have no reason to be accommodating. In fact, my last employer not only fired me for being absent so much, but they then disputed my Unemployment claim and there's been no money coming into the house for a month.  I've also had to drop out of college for the time being, as they want money I don't have, despite my Pell Grant.

My Sweetie has been disabled in totally different ways for the last six years, and we're fighting to get that recognized by the government, but it's been an incredibly long battle. 

So - blah, blah, blah, right? Long story short, I'm on more medications now than ever before: a high dose of anti-inflammatory, a "serotonin inhibitor," and a narcotic for pain. Dr. P also just added an anticonvulsant that was originally invented for epilepsy. I haven't started the new medication yet, since I can't afford to pick it up, so I've no idea what, if anything, it will do. 

Hokay, I got distracted a few paragraphs ago and am having a hard time putting words together. Whatever the hell is going on with my body seems to also be effecting my memory and concentration. So for now, I'll end this phone book of an entry and plan a more personal introduction for my next entry - how I met the Sweetie, what am I studying, yadda yadda. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.