Pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly ... and if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place. ~William Paul Young, The Shack
Just keep moving forward and don't give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you. -Johnny Depp

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I'm back and I'm flapping free.

We just went 13 days with no internet. For "normal" people, that might not be a problem, but for Shady and I, we nearly lost our minds. For both of us, the internet is our one tie to the world outside our house. I hate going out. I hate crowds, stores, restaurants, even the waiting room at the doctor's office freaks me out. And I hate the phone. With the passion of ten thousand fiery suns, I hate talking on the phone. For me the phone is a tool, not something to be glued to my ear 22 hours a day so I can yammer on about whatever. 

Got off on a sidetrack there, huh? Anyway, the point is, if I can do something online rather than on the phone or in person, I will. So to have it taken away from me for two weeks was like being quarantined. Not to mention that most of my friends and support structure are either people I only know online or people that I can only contact online due to distance. I've been so depressed these last two weeks, with my main source of communication and my main source of entertainment gone.

It sounds kind of dumb, but that's the way it is.

I found out that the lawyer had to change the date of the meeting. It's now the 6th of December. That's fine, it's only about a week's difference. They sent me a large envelope of paperwork to fill out, but I have to get through Thanksgiving first. One crisis at a time, people.

I saw Dr G the other day. She's referring me to the county's mental health office, which is great, I wanted to go there anyway, so I can see a therapist. She thinks that having the second opinion, and having that second opinion be The Authority on mental health around these parts, will help with the disability hearing.

She also requested a referral for a sleep study. I told her all about my micro sleeps and that whole thing, and she wants that looked into. She can't do it herself, since she's not my GP, and whoever is supposed to do the scheduling is dragging their feet, since it's been nearly a week with no phone call.I think this same person is supposed to do the referral to mental health, since I haven't heard back on that either. I love this clinic/practice/whatever, but sometimes they are so slow at getting anything done.

I am so tired.

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