I'm back and I'm flapping free.

We just went 13 days with no internet. For "normal" people, that might not be a problem, but for Shady and I, we nearly lost our minds. For both of us, the internet is our one tie to the world outside our house. I hate going out. I hate crowds, stores, restaurants, even the waiting room at the doctor's office freaks me out. And I hate the phone. With the passion of ten thousand fiery suns, I hate talking on the phone. For me the phone is a tool, not something to be glued to my ear 22 hours a day so I can yammer on about whatever. 

Got off on a sidetrack there, huh? Anyway, the point is, if I can do something online rather than on the phone or in person, I will. So to have it taken away from me for two weeks was like being quarantined. Not to mention that most of my friends and support structure are either people I only know online or people that I can only contact online due to distance. I've been so depressed these last two weeks, with my main source of communication and my main source of entertainment gone.

It sounds kind of dumb, but that's the way it is.

I found out that the lawyer had to change the date of the meeting. It's now the 6th of December. That's fine, it's only about a week's difference. They sent me a large envelope of paperwork to fill out, but I have to get through Thanksgiving first. One crisis at a time, people.

I saw Dr G the other day. She's referring me to the county's mental health office, which is great, I wanted to go there anyway, so I can see a therapist. She thinks that having the second opinion, and having that second opinion be The Authority on mental health around these parts, will help with the disability hearing.

She also requested a referral for a sleep study. I told her all about my micro sleeps and that whole thing, and she wants that looked into. She can't do it herself, since she's not my GP, and whoever is supposed to do the scheduling is dragging their feet, since it's been nearly a week with no phone call.I think this same person is supposed to do the referral to mental health, since I haven't heard back on that either. I love this clinic/practice/whatever, but sometimes they are so slow at getting anything done.

I am so tired.

Progress, of a sort.

The other day, I called to check on my disability claim and was told that a decision was made almost two weeks before. Since it had been so long without the letter arriving, she was allowed to tell me over the phone that the appeal had been denied.

When we checked the mail the next day, we found two letters telling me about the denial. They state that while I have a myriad of physical problems, and am fat, it's not really doing me any harm, and I should be able to work just fine.

Bullspit. They didn't even have me go see one of their doctors.

So I called the lawyer I've been emailing, and I have an appointment to see them on the 30th of November and officially hire the firm. The next step is a hearing of some kind, and thankfully the lawyer's office will set all that up.

I'm so depressed right now, it isn't even funny.

The name's Migraine, Epic Migraine.

This stupid headache just won't go away. This is day three, and I have no idea how to fix it. More caffeine, no caffeine, sleep all day, stay up late, too many Vicodin, no pain killers at all, nothing's working.

Aside from that, things are progressing. Dr. P has essentially confirmed Fibromyalgia, which is a blessing. He prescribed Baclofen, a medication he has said is normally given to Multiple Sclerosis patients to control muscle spasms. I can't wait. It's a scary thing to get a sudden, unstoppable eye spasm while driving. I also get violent ones that make me kick my girlfriend in the middle of the night, or shriek out in pain in an otherwise quiet room.

I asked Dr. P about possibly getting an anti-depressant on board. Since I was once diagnosed as Bipolar (another doctor later said that was stupid, I couldn't possibly have Bipolar), he referred me to the clinic's psych doc, Dr. G. Dr. G is a lovely, friendly woman who just moved here from across the country. She feels that what I have is Bipolar type II. She prescribed Topamax, which is also said to help migraines. Again, I'm excited to try it. Dr. G also encouraged me to file for disability and see where that gets us now that we have a combination of diagnoses.

There's a ton more to talk about, I'm sure, but our monthly food money will be here at 8:00AM, and since it's currently 1:30AM, I need to at least attempt to lay down.